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Women Orgasm Myths Document (part 2)

What Orgasms Feel Like

Most women described two parts of the orgasm: the physical and the psychological sensations. Physically, many women feel pleasant contractions throughout their pelvic region. These contractions are caused by the blood returning to the body and the blood vessels narrowing again. One woman described these contractions as “ripples of pleasure.”

While the physical sensation seems to be wonderful, many of the women I've worked with paid more attention to the psychological sensation. Immediately after the orgasm, women report feeling completely relaxed and stress free as if all of the tension in their body has suddenly been released. They also talk about overwhelming feelings of peacefulness. In fact, many women claim that orgasms help them to get a more restful night of sleep, particularly when stress has been interfering with their sleep patterns.

The physical sensations of the orgasm usually last between 10 to 30 seconds. The psychological sensations can last as long as an hour or more, depending on the environment.

What You Need to Remember

When it comes to female orgasms, there are technically two types: vaginal and clitoral. The truth is that almost all female orgasms, even those supposedly resulting solely from vaginal stimulation, originate with the clitoris.

So what does that mean for lovers? First, it means that if you have not yet discovered the clitoris in yourself or in your partner, then that should be your first task. The second task is to start discussing what kind of clitoral stimulation works best. If you don't know now, then by all means begin experimenting.

Before we move on, I should mention that more recent research is indicating that at least in some women both vaginal and clitoral stimulation is needed to provide a so-called “complete” orgasm. Keep that in mind as you read the rest of the book.

Why Is It Harder for Women to Reach Orgasm

For men, reaching an orgasm is fairly simple whether they are with a partner or masturbating. While most men do have preferences about the types of positions and stimulation they enjoy, it seems that almost anything can push them over the edge if they are already in a state of arousal. With women, it's a bit different. In this article, we're going to look at four reasons why it can be harder for women to orgasm than men.

#1 Physical Reasons

The most obvious reason why women have a more difficult time reaching orgasms is physical. Their sexual anatomy is built differently than men's and this has consequences when it comes to sexual pleasure. For men, orgasm is relatively easy because the source of their sexual pleasure is the penis. The penis is not only completely visible but it can easily be stimulated. Additionally, a man's arousal level is easier to recognize: an erect penis usually means he is ready for sexual intercourse and capable of reaching orgasm.

For women, it's not so straight forward.

As we've already discussed, the main pleasure center for women is the clitoris which is approximately the same size as the penis but which is mostly concealed. The part of the clitoris which is accessible can not be easily stimulated by the penis through normal penetration. Even during masturbation, women must often try multiple methods and positions before finding the right combination to lead to an orgasm. Furthermore, signs of a woman's arousal may not be as easy to spot unless her partner is looking for them specifically.

The consequences of these physical differences are that women have a more difficult road to travel when it comes to orgasms. It doesn't mean they are any less capable of reaching an orgasm; it just means that it typically takes a little more effort and education.

#2 Emotional Reasons

One thing I've heard women tell me about men is that they believe men can “get off” with anyone and at any time. This is generally in the form of a complaint because the women feel they are not able to reach orgasm that readily.

While it isn't true that men can reach orgasm at the drop of a hat, men usually do not have as much difficulty with orgasms as women do. A man can meet a strange woman in a bar, take her to his car, have sex in the backseat without even learning her name, and can have an orgasm. Unless he is an exceptional lover, the woman he is with is not as likely to get the same payoff from the encounter. The question is why is there such a difference. The answer is fairly simple. Women are more likely to feel uncomfortable with their bodies and have a more difficult time discussing sexual issues, as a result they won't be able to achieve an orgasm with just anyone.

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